barking to the choir

 "love must first become tenderness--the connective tissue of love--before it can become transformational."--Father Gregory Boyle 

(this quote is from his book "Barking to the Choir" which is a great read--the title which came from one of the gang members he works with accidentally melding the phrases "barking up the wrong tree" and "preaching to the choir" they take love seriously at Homeboy Ministries in LA, but don't take themselves too seriously)