peace within

this entry is for everyone who has ever wanted to run away from home to the lavender fields of provence or live the simple life on a greek island.  

now, i am not a quitter.  the only time i've actually fled something was in grade school when i "ran away from home" by hiding in the back yard. this lasted all of about 20 minutes because i got hungry, picked some berries and then went back inside for dinnertime, my pride won over by creature comforts. that, and it was starting to get dark.

other than that long ago day, i think i can honestly say i've faced into each challenge life has thrown my way.  i'm proud of myself and it takes a lot of energy!  it's not that each situation is too much, they are totally surmountable in and of themselves.  it's the cumulative effect; the exponential effort that the path to greater strength and resilience invites us to. 

and so, for the first time in over 40 years, i felt like running away from home.  i'm going to be 50 in four months and i suppose i thought it would open up a new vista (which it still may) automatically upon the completion of 5 decades.   the ideal path forward to me would be a sustainable pace of work, rest, and play that i can keep at well into my 90's should i be so lucky!

at any rate, in a moment of what i suppose is why they call it mid-life crisis (which i prefer to call a mid-life opportunity with an obnoxious voice), i texted a friend, "i just want to paint, garden, and swim." (maybe in those aforementioned locales) and she wisely wrote back the reminder that peace is within us no matter where we are or what we do.

essentially the lavender in provence isn't necessarily more purple on the other side of the fence.

it was as if the fields and islands came to me in that moment of her simple, true, and refreshing words.  and she's right, we take ourselves with us and are in charge of our own peace and happiness right here, right now.  (while munching on some greek olives brought to you on a tray by a handsome man named Nico?)  a girl can dream...