yes

it's not lost on me what healthcare workers and chaplains do every day.  but especially right now.  there are places that no one goes to by choice, like emergency rooms and funeral parlors.

but yesterday this wasn't on my radar.  i love both of my jobs, pouring wine and working for a lavender business.  and both are in peak season simultaneously.  while i am super grateful, it is a far cry from january when i thought about taking apart the puzzle i had just done in order to put it together again.

all that to say, i found myself exhausted, almost too tired to even go out to get the groceries i needed.  muttering about where jeeves was when i needed him, good help is so hard to find these days, i set out, my only mission to don  relatively societally acceptable clothes, never mind any makeup, and slog to the store hoping not to run into anyone that i had to extend social or emotional effort on.  

while shopping i heard a distinct yet silent voice say "take flowers to Attrell's funeral parlor now."  what?!  "take flowers to Attrell's funeral parlor now." not feeling as though i had anything to give, not to mention it being a hot day and having dairy products in the car, i looked around the store, which didn't even have any flowers.  seriously?  how much more random could this possibly be!  and yet, i know that still small voice and i said yes.

i figured i could stop by a farm store on the way, i remembered them having beautiful hanging flower baskets for sale.  when i arrived though, they seemed a bit over the top, especially for a mission as random and unknown as this. realizing i didn't even know if the parlor was open, i googled it, "open now, closes at 4", and opted for a simpler bunch of freshly cut lavender wrapped in brown paper and drove to the funeral parlor.

only one car in the parking lot, i pulled in beside it, took a deep breath and grabbed the bundle.  pushing open the door made the bell ring alerting the woman at the front desk.  funeral parlors really are truly extra eerily plush and quiet.  she looked at me.  "um, hi.  this is, i mean, i don't need anything from you," i stammered, "i'm here because, well, i felt like i was supposed to bring flowers here today?"  

the woman started weeping.  that's it, now i've done it, committed some sort of unforgivable etiquette faux pas.  when she did speak it was a series of "oh my gosh, i can't believe it, the timing of this, just oh my goodness, i can't believe it, thank you so much!"

turns out, while she manages the grief of everyone every day, her own brother had just died.  in fact, she'd lost both her brothers in the span of less than nine months.  she was barely holding it together and extremely lonely, also owing to the fact that she works in a place where people don't tend to darken the doors just to say hello and certainly not to bring her something for no reason.  if they are there, they require her total calm presence because chances are their world is falling apart.  i offered a hug to this dear woman whose own world was crumbling as tears began to run down my face with and for her.

she smiled a bit in telling me about how fun-loving they had both been when i asked about what qualities she most appreciates about her brothers.  "i believe in God" she said, "and i think He sent you to me today."  

"i do too, and i know He did," i said, "because it was the last thing on my mind.  please know that if Love can arrange this just for you, you are seen and heard and hugged and not alone. i mean, these days it could be any of us, you know?"  only after this did we think to introduce ourselves to one another.  she took the lavender bundle and i saw myself out, both of us encouraged and filled.

"i'm going to tell everyone about this," she called out after me.  

"me too, take care".

it all took less than ten minutes but so much was accomplished by Spirit in that short time. 

i share this here with you because it was vastly encouraging to be part of something so obviously bigger than both of us.  in a world that can seem cold or aggressive, Love cared to connect a tired, random grocery shopper with a funeral parlor secretary in need of comfort.  

it reminded me that it's not just a two-way conversation, it's a three-way dynamic with the sacred, other, and self.  when i forget this and try to do it on my own, life can become sad and heavy.  but yesterday was more organic and energizing than i had felt in a long time.  "my yoke is easy and my burden is light" was a verse that came to me while reflecting on the moment afterwards.  i know Love will never leave me or forsake me, but it is often invisible and we also need people with real arms to wrap around and real faces and voices to make Love visible and audible and tangible.

"Christ plays in ten thousand places/lovely in eyes and lovely in limbs not His to the glory of the Father through the features of our faces"--Gerard Manley Hopkins

i didn't do anything other than step into a plan custom-designed where everyone is known and everyone matters.  Love is always leading a sacred three-way conversation.  may our hearts respond with a resounding yes.