perspective

working in hospitality, part of my job is to check guest behavior in the context of customer service. 

recently a woman and her group in particular were quite loud and causing no small stir.  i made my presence known by "restocking" an area near them that did not need restocking whatsoever.  in doing so, i quietly let them see that i saw them and that i was monitoring their behavior.

when she directed her loud repetition my way, i simply smiled and nodded, further taking in the situation.  they purchased and proceeded outside to continue what i thought was the mindless antics of people who've had too much wine.

what i didn't know was that she was, albeit affected by a glass or two, reeling from the loss of one of her closest friends, having received the news just less than an hour before.

this completely changed my perspective from seeing her as someone just being obnoxious to someone in deep grief. 

doing an inward 180 degree turn, i grabbed a bundle of dried lavender and took it out to her.  she was with it enough to receive the gesture.  less words are more, so i simply said a couple words of comfort and left her to be with her friends.  "it's good to be with my friends today," she said, "instead of being alone."

often i am so quick to judge a situation without knowing the full context.  it's so easy to think i know the what's going on, but i'm so happy to be wrong about it.  while it is my job to check on behavior, it's never mine to judge it.

when getting off subways, you will often hear "mind the gap".  in this case and other circumstances, there is always opportunity to create a space, or gap, of curiosity; a pause that says to one's self, "hmm.  i see this behavior.  i wonder what the story is here?"

i wished her well and was glad we had crossed paths, if only for a few moments.  i hope the lavender reminds her of compassion and is a lasting, fragrant balm of memory.