a bigger story

this week i was surprised by an unexpected invitation to be a bigger person and to open the gift of a bigger story.  

the way it unfolded was never something i could have planned; just going about my day and one thing unfolding into the next as they do...getting my attention and leading me down a healing rabbit hole.

essentially, i was keenly reminded of a tragedy that happened 20 years ago, taking the life of not only one of my best pals, but 201 others and injuring many more.  

memorial day seems a fitting day to reflect on forgiveness being, not a one-and-done as i thought, but an ongoing journey.  it has textures, threads, a warp and wool.  far from forgetting (i do not believe we are wired to forget things that are seared this deeply into our souls) but rather an invitation for our current self to embrace everything from this point backwards in order to form a new ray going forward; a self big enough to embrace not only our inner loss but the loss for others. 

somehow, this is gain.  not in a cheap sense, but in the transformational sense.  we have perspective to see a larger story at play.  not the story we imagined or wanted, but a story of life coming from the ashes.  not just a phoenix rising, but a grand compassion generated from a capacity that we can both wonder at and with.

i highly recommend poet david whyte's words on the subject of forgiveness in his book "consolations".  

who are you remembering this day and what baton of goodness, truth, and beauty have they passed to you?  will you carry it and how?