can i have my girl scout badge now?

true confession, i never was a girl scout. as i told a friend, i had a brief stint as a bluebird but all i remember is the vest...and some sewing in 4H, that's it. so last night's spontaneous challenge had me most powerfully calling on my inner pioneer and asking somewhat desperately "WWGD?" (what would great-grandma do?!) what's all this, you ask? we butchered our first meat chicken. i'll spare you the details too, but just take this from a gal who would rather wreck her car than hit as much as a bird or squirrel in the road: i have never killed my own food before. i put on my "man shirt"--the one that i wear outside when i'm pretending to be a farmer; the shirt that "it-doesn't-matter-what-happens-to-it-plaid". "relax..." i told myself while pacing nervously and imagining the worst, "people have done this for centuries...get back to nature..." but then looking at the bird still very much alive, all i could do was hum "circle of life" and apologize profusely to the rooster. granted, the process wasn't as awful as i'd imagined but it's still quite low on the totem pole of things i can't wait to do on a spring evening. i learned a lot, which is a core value. i had a new experince, ditto. and i found myself drawing graffiti on the face of colonel sanders in my mind. poor bird. "don't watch", i told the other ones. we offered a thankfulness offering for the life which we were about to take and i'm invited to dinner tonight which reminds me just how much of a strictly egg-chicken farmer that i am. so can i have my girl scout badge now?