adult conversation, please...

i am, no exaggeration, starved for adult conversation. being a teacher K-6 plus middle school means that for 8 hours a day 5 days a week i am surrounded by monosyllabic grunting, bad lighting, screaming, lunch garbage, thuds of unknown origin, repeated locker pounding followed closely by slamming and screaming that sounds like it's coming from a girl but could just as easily be from a 6th grade boy, and the occasionally recognizable words ending in 'aguuughaha'. (love them dearly but i've gotta say i'm glad there's only 5 more days.) at the end of the day i have sensory overload and have put out a lot of energy but i personally have not had much, if any, meaningful interaction at my level and not much life-giving energy has come to me unless i have the energy to initiate and make it happen. so i have taken up talking to myself. a scary amount. what's scarier is the conversations make sense and are getting longer and longer. they're somewhat interesting, even, if i do say so myself. art, philosophy, goals, contemplative prayer, biking, egg farming, dreams & passions, music, books and culture. like today, for example, while i was talking to myself i dictated a random list of things for myself to write down that i want to do and places i want to go. things i want to make: wood coring for candles, painted canvas in beach colors, clothespin trivet (ala scandinavian style), encaustics, glass fusing and shrinky dink jewelry! (remember shrinky dinks?!)and support my pottery friend's work at Solabee's (shameless promotion here). i want to eat at the Joel Palmer House in McMinnville (known for their black truffle oil), try Buvette restaurant in NYC, and Beach Plum at Martha's Vineyard. i want to sit out under the patio lights at Babica Hen while the sun goes down while sipping sweet red wine under a string of lights surrounded by candles. i want to learn to build a small house. and decorate a vacation cabin with those clean-looking natural rugs you can drag your bare feet on while surrounded by white linen and turkish towels. from magazines i learned that you can eat the pea shoot part of the plants too (and recipes for doing so), that putting kale in a dehydrator better preserves the nutritional value of said vegetable, and how to make a balsamic glaze reduction to pour over strawberry icecream. i want to make candied lemon and orange peels and buy a ridiculously expensive red Le Creuset pan that i can use for life. i want to open my home and property every Sunday night from 3-6 for parties where other grown ups come and have smart, interesting and meaningful conversational soirees until the stars and desserts come out because no one is in a rush and no one wants to go home. this is all if i were queen of the world, you see...