the christmas barbie

last april, in an effort to keep days from blending into one another and to get some exercise, i loaded my bike and headed to a local trail for a ride and some fresh air.  afterwards i stopped and sat under the shade of a cedar tree for a snack when i heard a cheerful little voice, "my name's hazel, what's yours?"

i looked up to see a girl of about four with long curly hair looking inquisitively at me from her stroller.  i introduced myself and we immediately launched into a world of imagination and make believe.  after a while, she looked at me intently and said, "i want to get together and play with you when covid is over."  i told her i'd really like that and thanked her for cheering up my day.  on the way out of the parking lot, she rolled down the window and called out, "i'll see ya for barbies!"

thankful for her friendliness, i thought it was a chance meeting.  so i was delighted several weeks later when a lovely woman i know made the connection, "oh my goodness, my granddaughter keeps talking about this nice lady, you're the 'lanette' she keeps talking about, aren't you?!"  confused, i asked who her granddaughter was.  "my granddaughter is hazel!"  tears moistened my eyes as she went on to tell me that hazel had been feeling down about noticing that people were not meeting her gaze or seemed to be avoiding her on paths or at the playground.  her young, developing mind didn't understand people's reticence to connect and it wasn't until i talked with her that hazel felt seen and paid attention to by another adult who wasn't her immediate family.

i'm a kid person, voted most likely to sit on the ground or floor to connect and first to be goofy, play, read stories, or jump rope together.  i'm, frankly, a 12-year old trapped inside of a 46-year old body, so it was quite normal for me to relate to hazel by playing along about imaginary trolls in the tree and such.  

one morning this holiday season my first waking thought (and usually my best thoughts come unbidden first thing) was "get a barbie for hazel".  i'm not a mom and don't toy shop regularly, so i wasn't even sure where to get an authentic brand barbie.  so, providentially, when meeting a friend at the bookstore, i turned a corner and in front of me was an entire display!  

choosing "ballet barbie" (not even knowing hazel is a dancer!) i asked her grandmother to help me with the best way to deliver it.  she happened to be watching hazel that weekend and we set a time for me to drop by.  i knew hazel probably didn't need any new toys per se, but i wanted it to be a symbol to remind her that her friendliness matters and of my promise to play together.

hazel came bounding out the door in stocking feet with a "hello kitty" picture she had colored in for me.  she was thrilled with her new doll and began twirling around with it, showing me how she too could go up on point (in her now soaking, dirty socks).  i got down on the ground, looked right at her, and thanked her for cheering me up in the spring.  

"can you play barbies with me right now?!" she asked.  "i can't play today," i explained, "but i promise to come back and play dolls with you either outside when it is warmer, or inside when all of this is over."  

the hello kitty artwork on my fridge makes me feel like the richest woman in the world, in all the ways that matter.  it reminds me that those who are developing socially during this time need us to connect with them as often and as authentically as possible; to look them in the eye, to join them where they are, and to let them know that they matter.  

that, and i've never looked more forward to playing barbies in my life.