worth waiting for

advent.  a time of waiting.  i've thought about how many different types of waiting there are, but that they all fall under the category of unknowing; how both tricky and wonderful that can be.

we anticipate something in the future that brings us feelings of either anticipation or dread.  the very fact that we don't know and aren't in control adds elements of surprise.  change that we were hoping for that was our idea or things that weren't in the plan like sneaker waves reminding you never to turn your back on the ocean.

i've waited for hard things before.  ultrasound radiology for me, biopsies for friends, mountain search and rescue teams, identification after bombing tragedies...and i've anticipated and celebrated joyful events the giddy way a kindergartener waits for their birthday.

how we process change and hold onto a healthy mental state being key to either kind.  i had to wait recently for quite a while for something that was my idea but that, after a certain stage, i had no control over the outcome.  fortunately i had nothing to lose either way, but it would determine my future, disrupt my comfort zone, and have a significant impact on others.  since i believe that nothing is ever just about us, i made peace by imagining the outcome either way as being good for all involved and waited fairly well, all things considered.

i decided well ahead of time how i might take care of myself while i waited, how i would take care of others that it would impact, and how i would make peace with the news either way once i did receive it.  i did receive the news and it is wonderful, although with bittersweet elements, and i'm happy to say my life is shifting into a new and beautiful season for 2020.

what is something you've had to wait for and how did you take care of yourself and value the process as well as the outcome?

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