lightening my load
in the quadrants of learning we go from not knowing that we don't know something (unconscious unskilled) to knowing what we don't know (conscious unskilled) and hopefully to mastery of knowing something new and consequently not having to think about it all the time (unconscious skilled).
it's like this for me in the realm of listening. before this weekend, i thought i wasn't a good listener. and, while this is a life-long pursuit, what i realized is that it's because i am always so highly attuned and listening at many levels simultaneously (to others, God, myself, nature, ideas...) sometimes it's that i don't know what to do with all that i'm hearing!
whether it was from the culture i was raised in, pressure from without or pressure from within, i always felt i had to do something with what i heard: teach, give advice, solve, or encourage. in short, it was like a game of hot potato and the clock was ticking down on me having to come up with something brilliant or spiritual and toss it back quickly already!
so, you could say i was carrying around some extra pounds in this arena that just peeled right off when i realized i don't have to use many if any words (my life and love language revolves around words) the gift of my presence might be all that's required (exhale!). if words are invited, i can reflect what i'm hearing, share a noticing or wonder and trust the person to be the expert on their own journey. if i am able to help shine some light on something or word something in a way that they make a new connection for themselves, so much the better, but the pressure's off and i can't tell you how good that feels!
so in place of "hot potato" a more fitting image for me is maybe a gentle egg toss, unforced and replete with the rhythms of grace. which reminds me that it's almost Easter. this season, how might life invite you to lighten both your perceived (demands we place on ourselves) vs. actual (the real things we need to attend to) load? maybe even just recognizing the difference between the two is a place to start lightening our souls.
it's like this for me in the realm of listening. before this weekend, i thought i wasn't a good listener. and, while this is a life-long pursuit, what i realized is that it's because i am always so highly attuned and listening at many levels simultaneously (to others, God, myself, nature, ideas...) sometimes it's that i don't know what to do with all that i'm hearing!
whether it was from the culture i was raised in, pressure from without or pressure from within, i always felt i had to do something with what i heard: teach, give advice, solve, or encourage. in short, it was like a game of hot potato and the clock was ticking down on me having to come up with something brilliant or spiritual and toss it back quickly already!
so, you could say i was carrying around some extra pounds in this arena that just peeled right off when i realized i don't have to use many if any words (my life and love language revolves around words) the gift of my presence might be all that's required (exhale!). if words are invited, i can reflect what i'm hearing, share a noticing or wonder and trust the person to be the expert on their own journey. if i am able to help shine some light on something or word something in a way that they make a new connection for themselves, so much the better, but the pressure's off and i can't tell you how good that feels!
so in place of "hot potato" a more fitting image for me is maybe a gentle egg toss, unforced and replete with the rhythms of grace. which reminds me that it's almost Easter. this season, how might life invite you to lighten both your perceived (demands we place on ourselves) vs. actual (the real things we need to attend to) load? maybe even just recognizing the difference between the two is a place to start lightening our souls.
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