the care and feeding of empaths

as an empath and highly sensitive and intuitive person, i learned an important distinction i'd like to share in case any of you are or know another empath.  this is a hugely meaningful and exhausting time for our personality type.

meaningful because we feel the feelings of others as if they were our own.  this is fantastic because we are able to listen and be present in a way that is truly authentic and connected.  people often feel heard after being with us.  we celebrate with those who celebrate and mourn with those who mourn.

and exhausting because everything from social interactions and noises to emotion and everything in between is so keenly intense to us, even on a normal day. we are like sponges who fill up quickly and need to be wrung out more often than most.

nothing's wrong with us, it's a gift!  about 15-20% of the population shares this trait.  which also means that 80% of the population lives in a more blissfully, and sometimes to us--enviably--simple state. 

this simple phrase is helping a lot:  compassion is valuing another's feelings, while empathy is taking them on as if they were one's own.  

i hope this distinction is as valuable to you and your interactions as it's been to me.  anne morrow lindbergh stated wisely several decades ago that we were only each meant to care deeply and well for a few people otherwise we could fragment.  

in other words, while we can have compassion for the world and for any and all, we can only carry a few.  if you are facing any form of compassion fatigue, ask yourself, "who are my people?  the ones i can count on one hand that i am to be there for who are also there for me?" 

i am refilling as i write this:  the lights are dim, the music's off.  not a lot of stimulation so i can reflect on the day and stay in the game for the long-haul; pacing myself for a lifetime of being someone who cares.  which means, sometimes i won't be able to.  but that means someone else will get that opportunity!  

how do you refill your compassion and empathy?