cat-chasing sheriffs
i've been pet-sitting now about as long as i've been working with kids, around twenty-five years all told. but this was a new experience for the books. i'm watching my friends' indoor and outdoor cats while they are away and i'm still in my pj's thinking how nice it is to be on vacation and how i might take an extra long shower before going wine tasting with my neighbor...when the doorbell rings.
first of all, their mudroom door, to anyone who is a friend, is the "front door", as no one actually uses the front door, which is my first clue. i open it, still in my pj's and hair in a messy bun, to find a sheriff in full uniform. stunned, i ask how i can help him and forget the door is open just enough for the indoor cat to escape.
"ma'am, i'm here inquiring as to why a car registered in the name of the home owners is abandoned in a nearby orchard?" i have no idea and quickly tell him that i am the house-sitter and would be happy to assist him in any way possible. he takes down my vital information, "name? date of birth? address?" like a crime scene and i can tell he is thinking maybe the car has been stolen.
through a series of texts and phone calls, i connect with the home and car owners and hand my cell phone to the sheriff, all the while chasing *rosie the cat. "i read a lot of detective fiction," i tell the officer, "so maybe i can help you figure out the mystery."
"well, it's technically my fault the cat got out," he replies, "so i'll help you catch her and call it even."
we both simultaneously relax as i realize he is keeping the neighborhood safe and he ascertains that i am not a car thief. meanwhile, the cat streaks maniacally through the bushes and trees chasing birds and in general having a riotous time and of course, the more we chase her, the further she runs. a long shower is the furthest from my mind at this point, when the UPS man pulls in with a package (did i mention i'm still in my pj's?) just in time to make it a real, live three-ring circus. "try cat treats", he says in a mail-people-have-experience-with-outdoor-pets kind of way, "and leave the door open, maybe she'll run back inside."
"roger that," i holler to the UPS man, and then to the sheriff, "did you figure out what happened with their car?"
turns out, they had gotten stuck in the mud on the way to the airport and not had time to get unstuck, so they left it in the field, notified the property owner, came back for their second car, and made it to the airport in time, all unbeknowns to me. she talks me through where to find the spare set of keys for the sheriff because he noticed the car window was down and that it was too nice of a make and model to get ruined in the rain.
while the sheriff secures the car, i secure the cat, dust myself off and promptly make a second very **strong cup of espresso. when the sheriff returns with the car keys, i don't know whether to high-five him (which seems disrespectful) or pat him on the shoulder like a comrade (which seems equally presumptuous) and so i stick out my hand to shake his and say, "you're the nicest sheriff i've ever met. i mean, thanks for helping with the car and cat and all. wow, this is like a real, live lord peter whimsy moment."
"a who?" he says.
"oh, lord peter is a fictional british detective persona on par with the more well-known sherlock holmes."
"i see," he says, adding, "did you catch rosie?"
"i did, indeed. and the car?"
"ship shape"
"well, all in a morning's work. you're going to make it into the book i write about housesitting. are you ok with that?"
"i am. i'll look forward to reading it. and you have yourself a nice day now, ma'am."
*her real name. and she wants me to add that she had a blast in her short, but raucously wild foray of an escape into the great outdoors
**there is no coffee strong enough for mornings like this
first of all, their mudroom door, to anyone who is a friend, is the "front door", as no one actually uses the front door, which is my first clue. i open it, still in my pj's and hair in a messy bun, to find a sheriff in full uniform. stunned, i ask how i can help him and forget the door is open just enough for the indoor cat to escape.
"ma'am, i'm here inquiring as to why a car registered in the name of the home owners is abandoned in a nearby orchard?" i have no idea and quickly tell him that i am the house-sitter and would be happy to assist him in any way possible. he takes down my vital information, "name? date of birth? address?" like a crime scene and i can tell he is thinking maybe the car has been stolen.
through a series of texts and phone calls, i connect with the home and car owners and hand my cell phone to the sheriff, all the while chasing *rosie the cat. "i read a lot of detective fiction," i tell the officer, "so maybe i can help you figure out the mystery."
"well, it's technically my fault the cat got out," he replies, "so i'll help you catch her and call it even."
we both simultaneously relax as i realize he is keeping the neighborhood safe and he ascertains that i am not a car thief. meanwhile, the cat streaks maniacally through the bushes and trees chasing birds and in general having a riotous time and of course, the more we chase her, the further she runs. a long shower is the furthest from my mind at this point, when the UPS man pulls in with a package (did i mention i'm still in my pj's?) just in time to make it a real, live three-ring circus. "try cat treats", he says in a mail-people-have-experience-with-outdoor-pets kind of way, "and leave the door open, maybe she'll run back inside."
"roger that," i holler to the UPS man, and then to the sheriff, "did you figure out what happened with their car?"
turns out, they had gotten stuck in the mud on the way to the airport and not had time to get unstuck, so they left it in the field, notified the property owner, came back for their second car, and made it to the airport in time, all unbeknowns to me. she talks me through where to find the spare set of keys for the sheriff because he noticed the car window was down and that it was too nice of a make and model to get ruined in the rain.
while the sheriff secures the car, i secure the cat, dust myself off and promptly make a second very **strong cup of espresso. when the sheriff returns with the car keys, i don't know whether to high-five him (which seems disrespectful) or pat him on the shoulder like a comrade (which seems equally presumptuous) and so i stick out my hand to shake his and say, "you're the nicest sheriff i've ever met. i mean, thanks for helping with the car and cat and all. wow, this is like a real, live lord peter whimsy moment."
"a who?" he says.
"oh, lord peter is a fictional british detective persona on par with the more well-known sherlock holmes."
"i see," he says, adding, "did you catch rosie?"
"i did, indeed. and the car?"
"ship shape"
"well, all in a morning's work. you're going to make it into the book i write about housesitting. are you ok with that?"
"i am. i'll look forward to reading it. and you have yourself a nice day now, ma'am."
*her real name. and she wants me to add that she had a blast in her short, but raucously wild foray of an escape into the great outdoors
**there is no coffee strong enough for mornings like this
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