listeners please apply

i'm sitting in a coffee shop and conversations are veritably tripping over themselves; people talking fast, sentences overlapping, so eager for the other person to finish talking so they can jump in.  i'm guilty of that too, of course, but a webinar i watched recently reminded me of the importance of listening.  it's hard work and takes focus & self-control to be sure.  

on social media and posts everywhere, it seems everyone wants to be an influencer.  what if one of the most effective ways to influence our culture isn't what we say but what we don't?  what if people talk so fast because they're not used to being deeply listened to and are constantly afraid of being interrupted?  what would it feel like to be deeply heard, not just for our words, but also noticed for our body language (which accounts for most of human communication)?   

so i did a strange thing today.  when i parked in the lot across from a local funeral home, i broached the threshold.  i mean, death is a huge part of our lives and a normal part of community just like local restaurants and this coffee shop.  

when queried how they could help me, i said, "well this is kind of strange, but i was wondering if you're in need of listeners?"  (note:  i propertly introduced myself and quickly added that i'm not a counselor and that there are no strings attached).  while they are not in need of this right now, she suggested senior living or cancer centers.  

i am fortunate to have several true friends and i also pay a spiritual director to listen and ask me key questions on a regular basis.  i wondered how people without close friends or other skilled listeners in their life might feel.  

i wonder if i could do a day out & about without talking at all or at least not much?  people would probably think i was a great conversationalist if i didn't use words, just letting them talk.  while challenging, it's worth considering.  it's also frustrating to feel misunderstood, isn't it?  "seek to understand, not to be understood", thank you saint francis.

 when was the last time you felt really and truly heard?  what do you think made you feel this way?