The Z, Y, X's of life "O" Oblate

these 26 entries z-a are meant as a tandem collection of short essays interspersed throughout my blog.  instead of the abc's of life, i'm writing backwards for two reasons. t.s. eliot said that to make an end is to make a beginning, which i find true. that, and my grandfather could say the alphabet backwards faster than I could say it forwards. now that's some wit.

i first encountered the word oblation as the name of what would become my favorite fine press & paper store. i would even come to be friends with the owner because of a book, thank you card, and truffle cheese but that is a lovely tale for another day. 

i would also learn that "oblation" means an offering, donation, or gift; the act of making an offering. the word is derived from the Latin oblationem "an offering, presenting, or gift".

it would take several decades of growing into myself to discover why i felt so different from and exhausted by mainstream culture. for one, i am a highly social INFJ on the meyers-briggs personality type indicator (1-3% of the population) and an Enneagram 2 as well as an *HSP (highly sensitive person) which represent just 15% of the population. (*there are great resources out there for how to manage the pros & cons of this often misunderstood superpower. hint: it is not a disorder or weakness, quite the contrary!) 

we're all unique and, rather than feeling pigeon-holed, i felt relieved to finally understand so many things about myself.  for example, why i need time alone to recharge, why i pick up on everything around me, and how to take care of myself. i was not "too much", simply highly attuned like a swiss watch and could take care of myself in order to use my intensity, intuition, and empathy for the greater good. 

this package comes with a deep sense of spirituality, a gift which i also learned to receive after much trial and error as it can overlap with religion but is distinct. 

in a culture that looks at you askance if you're not married by age 28.5 or a nun, i wondered if there was a both/and there somewhere. the late author madeleine l'engle's writing mercifully taught me there need be no separation between the sacred and secular. maybe i didn't have to choose. (just like my favorite poet learned he probably hadn't needed to burn his poems and could still write poetry as a priest). 

that's when i learned the term oblate. basically, this is a person who does not take vows (which was a relief because i would make a terrible nun for so many reasons) but does seek a more monastic lifestyle while still living in their community and every day life (and can still get married if mr. right comes along, another relief!)

i spent time at Benedictine Abbeys for silent retreats and deeply pondered the lives of both St. Francis and St. Clare. through over 20 years of spiritual direction, i am coming to formulate my way of being in the world focusing on simplicity, kindness, curiosity, and humility. 

would that we all came with laundering care tags like clothing. mine would read something like "hardy for everyday wear, soft as cashmere. launder gentle cycle in warm water and dry on clothesline". what would yours read?

 

i'm still learning about myself and making adjustments to work, rest, recreation, and connection in my fifties. 

with loving, honest assistance and feedback from others who have my best interests at heart, not only do i recognize and receive the unique ways i'm wired, but it's a joy to give myself back as an equally unique gift, offering, and service. 

what is your oblation?