encouragement, authentically

this is how i know i have the gift of encouragement:  most days i wake up singing or writing poems, today i woke up bummed; felt the corporate sigh.

that doesn't sound encouraging, you might be thinking!  but to me it's a reassuring sign of being human, of being authentic. and from that space true encouragement can flow.

encouragement creates space for uncomfortable feelings.  encouragement doesn't feel compelled to fix things.  and true encouragement can acknowledge disappointment in one's self and others.

cheerleading, on one hand, or wallowing on the other don't have room for encouragement. cheerleading can tend to dismiss feelings and avoid reality.  wallowing can get stuck in negative patterns.  both will wear out, not go the distance.  but true encouragement can weather the storms, it never wears out.

when i slip into cheerleader mode, i wear out.  the tank only has so much.  but when i am coming from an authentic space, i am able to befriend negative or uncomfortable feelings in myself and others and listen to what they may have to say to me while i wait for creative solutions and feelings of joy to return; the tank is bottomless.  disciplines of life can make us so 'sticky' for real encouragement that we're ready when the storms come.  full enough to have something to offer.  anchored enough to be honest when we don't. 

i went for a walk in the sun as an act of will, not because i felt like it.  and i met some fantastic neighbors i'd not known before.  and on the way home i saw this tar heart in the middle of the road.  it's so sticky, it never moves even when it's rained on and run over.  that's how encouragement is (literally french for coeur, 'heart', and 'to put courage into'), the more it's tromped on, the stronger it becomes.

what has truly encouraged you lately?  how can you tell when you and others are coming from this authentic space?